Romance scams: how they work and how to get out
Editorially reviewed · Last updated September 8, 2026
Yes — this is a scam. Fast declarations of love followed by a money or investment request are a serious romance-scam warning. Stop and verify independently before sending anything.
Exhibit · Text message
Other versions you might get: A “sick relative,” a “stuck overseas” or military-deployment emergency, “one great crypto investment we can do together” (pig-butchering), or “just pay the customs fee to receive the gift I sent you.” Different story, same pivot to hard-to-recover payments.
What to do right now
- Stop sending money and stop contact. You don't owe an explanation. Blocking is not rude — it's the safe move.
- If you already sent money, act fast: contact your gift-card company, wire service, bank, or crypto exchange and ask them to try to stop or claw it back. The sooner you call, the better the odds.
- Check photos and identity independently. Reverse-image searching can reveal reused images, but no result proves nothing. A video call can also be staged or manipulated; do not treat it as permission to send money.
- Report it to the FTC at reportfraud.ftc.gov and the FBI at ic3.gov — even a shame-free, anonymous report helps others.
- Ignore any “recovery” offer that follows, promising to get your money back for a fee. That's the same scam, round two.
Reduce the risk of another scam
This is not naivety — these are professional, patient operations that target good, trusting people, and the shame they count on is exactly what keeps victims silent. Telling one trusted person and reporting it breaks their hold. If you shared personal or financial details, lock those down next.
● Public service · free steps first
Take the free protection steps first
A suspicious message does not tell us how someone found your details. If you shared personal information, start with the official recovery guidance. You can also freeze your credit for free.
- Freeze your credit — free at all three bureausRestricts access to your credit report for new credit applications. It does not protect existing accounts from misuse.
- Report it and get a recovery plan at IdentityTheft.govThe FTC walks you through exactly what to do next, for free.
Decide what protection you need
Start with the free controls above. Compare what a paid service would add only after deciding which problem remains.
No purchase needed. How we use evidence.
Frequently asked
What is a romance scam and how does it work?
Are “military,” oil-rig, or overseas romance partners real people?
I already sent money or gift cards — can I get it back, and what do I do?
How do I tell if someone I met online is a scammer?
Related scams
Romance scam pictures: how to check if a photo is fake
Want to check whether a dating-profile photo is a catfish? Here's how to reverse-image-search a suspected scammer's picture in two minutes, and why it works.
Facebook Marketplace scams: spot the 3 common tricks
Buying or selling on Facebook Marketplace and something feels off — a “verification code,” an overpayment, or a move to Zelle? Here's the verdict and what to do.
Fake check scam: why you'll owe the money back
Someone sent you a check and wants you to send part back? That is a fake-check scam pattern. Available funds are not proof the check is valid.
Wrong number scam texts: the “oops” is on purpose
A friendly text meant for someone else keeps chatting after you say “wrong number”? Here's the verdict and what to do.
Sextortion scam: don't pay — here's what to do
An email claims they recorded you and shows an old password, or someone you met online is threatening to share your photos? Here's the verdict and exactly what to do.
Crypto scams: guaranteed returns are the giveaway
An “investment manager,” a can't-lose trading platform, a fee to withdraw your profits? Here's the verdict and what to do.
Instagram scams: is that DM real?
A DM about your account, a friend needing a vote, an investment tip? Here's the verdict and exactly what to do.
Investment scams: warning signs and what to do
A stranger promises big returns with little risk, shows fake profits, or asks you to pay to unlock an investment? Here's the verdict and what to do.
Social media scams: spot fake offers and profiles
A social post, ad, or new contact promises a bargain, romance, or foolproof investment? Here's the scam pattern and what to do.
Sources
- 01What To Know About Romance Scams— Federal Trade Commission
- 02Internet Crime Complaint Center (IC3)— FBI
- 03What To Do if You Were Scammed— Federal Trade Commission
- 04Official security and fraud guidance— fbi.gov
- 05Official security and fraud guidance— fbi.gov
- 06How To Recognize and Avoid Phishing Scams— consumer.ftc.gov
Pass it on
Help protect someone else
If this could have fooled you, it can fool someone you know — a parent, a friend, the family group chat. It's safe to forward, and stands on its own as a record for a bank or the police.